Florida Drunk

There is no greater drunk than Florida drunk.

Sandy, sweaty, salty, and overheated. Plus, you may or may not be in a bikini/banana-hammock.

floriduh

Stay sloshy,

~ Tori

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Not a good reason to lol (but let’s lol anyway)

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So. After a fun night of bowling and drinking with a beautiful date. I come home to read this story.

http://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2013/09/snake-preserved-in-wine-bites-woman/?utm_content=buffer5cbfa&utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=Buffer

Can’t we all agree that if the snake SURVIVES being bottled and pickled for months on end, that it deserves to bite at least one asshole?  I mean, god damn. The snake earned it.

Do we agree?

DO WE!?

***Wine

Magic trick time.  I am going to change your perception of what gross is and what gross can be. I want you to think of the grossest, worstest alcohol you have ever muscled through just for a buzz.

Focus on it. Real hard. Yeah, like that. The grossest thing ever….

Now, realize that in order to change your perception of gross, I have to show you something really fucking gross.  I mean, oh mein gott it’s gross.

—I feel half bad for calling it gross, since it is a cultural practice.  Gross is a subjective adjective.  One man’s gross is another man’s gourmet.

With that said, this shit is sofa king gross.  You’ve been warned….

Now, think about the grossest alcohol ever you muscled through just for a buzz.  It doesn’t seem so bad anymore does it?

Did the trick work?  Have your perceptions changed?  Let me know in the comments.

The full documentary about Korean Poop Wine can be found here.

Shazaam, bitches!

Sometimes, I even get lucky with myself.

Sometimes, I even get lucky with myself.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that I polish off 2-3 bottles of wine per week.

There is even less wrong with the fact that I’m often doing this on my own. While doing homework. In the bath. Walking my dogs.

Seriously, it’s a great bonding experience with myself.

Rainbows and sunshine, peeps!

~ Grog