The Drunken States of America








Via College Humor!  Grog, if anyone questions your drinking, now you have an excuse.


Is it a kegger? Yes? OK, I’m down.

Is it a kegger? Yes? OK, I'm down.

College graduation is in 17 days, bitches!

Fuck yeah, I’m going to party. Ceremony at 8:45am, so that means the mimosas can start flowing around 10? 10:15?

Sounds about right.

Might as well get warmed up tonight!

Puking rainbows,
~ Grog

the greatest excuse ever

A while back I saw a study about intelligent people being prone to drink more.  As an intelligent person (duh) I took this as great rationalization for my drinking, “I’m smart I can’t help it.”  The huge counterpoint I make to this is, I’ve seen a ton of not-so-intelligent mofuckers drink habitually as well.  So really, people drink. Dumb ones, smart ones, ugly ones… me. You.

Or at least you should, smart people do…

Today, I saw a news report that reaffirmed my lifestyle even more.

My natural response to this video was (in a valley girl voice). “Chaa, of course us smart people do drugs. I do drugs.”

The scientists (scientists? idk) say that if you have a higher IQ you are more likely to be open to new experiences, i.e. drugs and alcohol.

Is this information a way for us to explain our lifestyles, or simply some bullshit excuse for our fuckupedness?

I don’t know. I don’t really care.

Maybe that’s the problem.


Magic trick time.  I am going to change your perception of what gross is and what gross can be. I want you to think of the grossest, worstest alcohol you have ever muscled through just for a buzz.

Focus on it. Real hard. Yeah, like that. The grossest thing ever….

Now, realize that in order to change your perception of gross, I have to show you something really fucking gross.  I mean, oh mein gott it’s gross.

—I feel half bad for calling it gross, since it is a cultural practice.  Gross is a subjective adjective.  One man’s gross is another man’s gourmet.

With that said, this shit is sofa king gross.  You’ve been warned….

Now, think about the grossest alcohol ever you muscled through just for a buzz.  It doesn’t seem so bad anymore does it?

Did the trick work?  Have your perceptions changed?  Let me know in the comments.

The full documentary about Korean Poop Wine can be found here.

Shazaam, bitches!

Sometimes, I even get lucky with myself.

Sometimes, I even get lucky with myself.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that I polish off 2-3 bottles of wine per week.

There is even less wrong with the fact that I’m often doing this on my own. While doing homework. In the bath. Walking my dogs.

Seriously, it’s a great bonding experience with myself.

Rainbows and sunshine, peeps!

~ Grog

Hypocrisy for the WIN!


Took this photo while riding shotgun DRUNK off my ass on the way to the next bar.

This is a bright yellow Mini Cooper that has church and I LOVE JESUS decals all over it.

He cut us off, gave us the finger for going the speed limit, and proceeded to drive like a RECKLESS MANIAC for almost three miles.

We lost the “Victory Chapel” mobile when he opted to run a redlight that we thought better of to stop at.

Do you think he’s just in a big hurry to get to service in the morning?


At least I’ve got a DD. Perhaps Jesus is his?

Farting rainbows,