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Hello guys n’ gals!

 

Moonshine here, shwasty-faced, as per usual.

You know, if alcohol ads said that what really happens when you drink, it would probably be less enticing. Or more, defpends if you like embarrassing yourself or nto, I guess.

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When I get drunk, I go full-on white girl drunbk, and that means, yes, dirty white girl dancing. Something about the music just moves tme to get up, and well, uy’know, actually MOVE myself, and so smtimes I dance.

 

Alot.

 

I think I danced for 20 minutes tonight, and did a summersault on the floor.

 

As my fiance says, I was being “cray.”

 

Oh well, white girl drunk or not, I’ve got another bottle to tear through and a pool table to obliterate and/or dance on. 

 

Fuzzy. Very.

Moonshine

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Not a good reason to lol (but let’s lol anyway)

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So. After a fun night of bowling and drinking with a beautiful date. I come home to read this story.

http://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2013/09/snake-preserved-in-wine-bites-woman/?utm_content=buffer5cbfa&utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=Buffer

Can’t we all agree that if the snake SURVIVES being bottled and pickled for months on end, that it deserves to bite at least one asshole?  I mean, god damn. The snake earned it.

Do we agree?

DO WE!?

the greatest excuse ever

A while back I saw a study about intelligent people being prone to drink more.  As an intelligent person (duh) I took this as great rationalization for my drinking, “I’m smart I can’t help it.”  The huge counterpoint I make to this is, I’ve seen a ton of not-so-intelligent mofuckers drink habitually as well.  So really, people drink. Dumb ones, smart ones, ugly ones… me. You.

Or at least you should, smart people do…

Today, I saw a news report that reaffirmed my lifestyle even more.

My natural response to this video was (in a valley girl voice). “Chaa, of course us smart people do drugs. I do drugs.”

The scientists (scientists? idk) say that if you have a higher IQ you are more likely to be open to new experiences, i.e. drugs and alcohol.

Is this information a way for us to explain our lifestyles, or simply some bullshit excuse for our fuckupedness?

I don’t know. I don’t really care.

Maybe that’s the problem.

Floridian Alcoholics

Floridian Alcoholics

Yup.

This is pretty much what we look like.

I’m having one of those days where I would run for Congress just to pass a law to allow naps and alcoholic beverages at work. Seriously, life would be so much better.

To appease myself, I’ve been scrolling through http://www.tickld.com and googling stupid memes. This is one of them.

Join me in my work-induced misery.

Rainbows and sunshine,
~ Grog

***Wine

Magic trick time.  I am going to change your perception of what gross is and what gross can be. I want you to think of the grossest, worstest alcohol you have ever muscled through just for a buzz.

Focus on it. Real hard. Yeah, like that. The grossest thing ever….

Now, realize that in order to change your perception of gross, I have to show you something really fucking gross.  I mean, oh mein gott it’s gross.

—I feel half bad for calling it gross, since it is a cultural practice.  Gross is a subjective adjective.  One man’s gross is another man’s gourmet.

With that said, this shit is sofa king gross.  You’ve been warned….

Now, think about the grossest alcohol ever you muscled through just for a buzz.  It doesn’t seem so bad anymore does it?

Did the trick work?  Have your perceptions changed?  Let me know in the comments.

The full documentary about Korean Poop Wine can be found here.

Shazaam, bitches!