National Rum Day: August 16th!

National Rum Day: August 16th!

Whaaaaaaat?

You didn’t know it was National Rum Day?

You bet your skid-marked britches that’s a real holiday, folks, and this drunkard – enthusiastically points at self – plans to celebrate hardcore tonight.

Don’t think my lack of recent posts means I’ve gone all soberfied on you – to be honest, I’ve just drank so much most nights that I’m barely able to avoid walking into walls and NOT wetting myself has become a heroic feat of strength. Yup, I’m walking that precarious line between functioning alcoholic and table-dancing, vomit-in-the-hair, raging alcoholic quite nicely.

I swear on my bottle of Captain Morgan’s that I shall not get too sloshed to post this weekend and, in honor of National Rum Day, I’ll even try not to moon anyone before midnight.

Farting rainbows,

~ Grog

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12 responses to “National Rum Day: August 16th!

    • I’m a grammar Nazi when I’m not sloshed, so it’s all good.

      However, I will warn you that we NEVER edit our drunk posts. If poor grammar, syntax, spelling, and overall nonsensical sentence-structure annoys you, your head will explode when you explore the shit-show that is our former posts.

      ~ Grog

  1. Bitches, I thought I was a pirate until very recently, til 1am on today the 17th August when I found out yesterday was fucking rum day and all I had was a glass of wine and a nice dinner. What the hell is wrong with me?!?! Am I old now or some shit? Damn I fail at life!!

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